the lights are on (but no one's home)
by RytaIndomina
Summary: At school, she's Santana Lopez, the sharp-tongued Cheerio with a fiery personality. On the streets, she's Diabla, the cold hearted criminal who's nothing but a pawn in a game of power. She's spiraling out of control, not knowing who she really is when she isn't putting on an act, and she won't let anyone get close enough to save her. (Onscreen canon compliant until late season 2.)
1. We Wear The Mask

**A/N: Hey guys! So basically, this idea popped into my head while watching Season 2 of Glee (I arrived very late to this fandom...), and because I ship Britanna so hard, I wanted to try writing them!**

 **A couple notes, before we get into the actual story:  
1\. I tried to keep the timeline straight, and in doing so, selected songs that would have been released around the time the episode they correspond to came out.  
2\. Some newer songs are in there as well, but they are inserted as originals written by the Glee cast.  
3\. This basically stays mostly canon up until late Season 2, around which time it begins to deviate from canon plot.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!**

 **\- RytaIndomina (Ryta)**

* * *

Chapter 1: We Wear the Mask

Summary: The stage is set; the characters are introduced. And the mysterious Santana Lopez makes her first appearance.

* * *

 _Tell me what you want to hear  
_ _Something that will light those ears  
_ _Sick of all the insincere  
_ _So I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

 _This time don't need another perfect lie_  
 _Don't care if critics ever jump in line_  
 _I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

\- from "Secrets" by OneRepublic

* * *

 _Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

Santana groaned internally as she watched the seconds pass by. Mr. Schuester was terrible at Spanish, and every minute spent in his class was a complete waste. She wasn't even sure why they made her attend; she was fluent in the language, so there was really no point in her being there. If attendance and participation wasn't such a large part of her grade, she would skip the class altogether. After all, she never studied for it. She didn't even take notes. All she did was space out, raise her hand once in a while to answer a question in a bored tone, and get perfect scores on tests and projects.

 _Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

She sighed audibly, sitting back in her chair and glancing around at her class. Quinn, who was captain of the Cheerios and one of her friends, was diligently scribbling away on a piece of lined paper, looking every inch the model student. Her boyfriend Finn sat next to her. He seemed very confused. Karofsky and Azimio were in the back of the room, snickering. They were probably deciding who they were going to pick on next.

Puck, the resident badass and player of the school, was actually attending class for once. He was staring off into space, absentmindedly tapping his fingers on the desk.

 _Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

Her best friend Brittany was sitting next to her. She didn't seem to be paying much attention either; she was fiddling with a crayon in her lap, and her blue eyes were focused on the desk in front of her. She was frowning slightly, as if she was trying to figure something out. Santana wondered what it was.

 _Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

Somehow sensing her gaze, Brittany looked up, and smiled at her. She had a beautiful smile, bright and innocent. It was the kind of smile that could light up an entire room, and every single time Santana saw it, everything negative seemed to melt away.

 _Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

She smiled back at the blonde. The two girls just stared at each other for a couple seconds. They did this quite often; sometimes they were having a silent conversation, other times they were getting lost in each other's eyes. Right now, it was the latter. Brittany's eyes were very expressive, and Santana could look into them for ages.

The moment broke when the bell rang.

 _Brrrrrrrring!_

Both girls startled in surprise. The level of noise in the room rose to a clamor as everybody began to pack up around them. Santana grabbed her things and walked out of the classroom, her best friend falling into step to her right. They wandered leisurely through the school, not having a class to rush to. It was their free period, after all.

"That class is so boring, San!" Brittany complained as they walked down the hallway, Cheerios uniforms swishing around their hips. Santana laughed, reaching out with her right hand to link pinkies with the blonde.

"I know, Britt. I'll catch you up on it later." she promised. They arrived at their lockers, where they found Puck waiting for them.

"What do you want, Puckerman?" Santana asked. She was all too aware that the boy was well known for being a player, and that title didn't refer to his being on the football team.

"Well, Lopez, I was thinking that I could take you out on a date. I'll meet you here after school, and we can go to Breadstix." Puck replied. Santana raised an eyebrow.

"A date? Puckerman, you don't date." she pointed out. Puck shrugged.

"Now I do. You're one of the most popular girls in this school, only topped by Quinn. I think you're worth taking out on a date." the football player said. The Latina rolled her eyes and glanced over at Brittany _._ The blonde quirked her lips in amusement.

"So basically, if Quinn wasn't taken, you'd ask her out instead of me. Good to know." A strange look passed over Puck's face at her words, but it quickly disappeared. He sighed.

"Look. You've got a fiery personality, and you're not afraid to speak your mind. I admire that." he admitted. She could tell that he truly meant what he said. A small smile appeared on Santana's face.

"Puckerman, if you wanted to be friends with me, you could have just asked. I wouldn't have turned you down." She savored the surprised look on his face for a couple of seconds before speaking again.

"Here's the deal. I'll go with you to Breadstix, but only as your friend. I'm not romantically interested in you, and I have a feeling that you aren't either. I'm fine with pretending that we're dating, but you'd better act like you're committed to our relationship. I will not have my reputation dragged down by you sleeping around while "dating" me. Clear?" she proposed. She knew that Puck had a secret, and it had something to do with Quinn. She hadn't missed the look on his face when she'd mentioned the idea of him asking the Head Cheerio out. Whatever he was hiding was important. And she wanted to know what it was.

"Crystal clear, Lopez." the football player responded, a wide smile on his face. His eyebrows scrunched together suddenly as something occurred to him.

"Wait, hold on. Please tell me that you don't really buy into the Celibacy Club crap." he said. Santana rolled her eyes again, and looked towards Brittany, whose eyes were practically lit up with silent laughter. She didn't find the situation that funny, but she couldn't really blame her best friend. At this age, all of the boys were controlled by their hormones. Luckily for Puck, she didn't mind having a little fun. Although, she'd never really understood what all the buzz was about. It had never been particularly mind-blowing in her experience. But then again, maybe she hadn't found the right guy yet.

Well, she had another suspicion as to why that was, but she didn't really want to think about that possibility.

"Don't worry. I only go to Celibacy Club because Britt-Britt and Quinn are there." she reassured. Puck looked relieved.

"Great. I'll see you after school, babe." he announced loudly, and Santana could feel several pairs of eyes turn towards them in interest.

"Looking forward to it, Puckerman." she responded in a lightly flirtatious tone. Puck winked at her, and she blew him a kiss. She smirked at his back as he strode off, brimming with confidence. Once he was gone, she turned back to her locker.

"San, you're a really good actor." Brittany commented quietly, and Santana smiled.

"Thanks, Britt." she said, putting away her things. She closed her locker, and held her right pinky out towards her best friend.

"Shall we go to the library? We can catch you up on Spanish there." she suggested. Brittany beamed, wrapping her left pinky around Santana's.

"Lead the way." she chirped. And so they started down the hallway, stepping in sync as they always did, with their linked hands swinging freely between them.

* * *

The sound of laughing broke through the music playing loudly in her ears. Santana took out her earbud (the other one was in Brittany's ear) and glared at anyone who dared to look over at them with a mocking glint in their eyes. Nobody was going tease Brittany about learning on her watch.

Brittany was actually really smart. It was just extremely hard for her to focus, and words tended to get mixed around in her head a lot. On top of that, the blonde tended to say whatever popped into her head at the most random of times, causing many people to think that she was stupid. But Santana knew that she wasn't.

When she first became best friends with Brittany, the blonde's parents had told her that Brittany had been diagnosed with severe ADHD at a young age. It hadn't bothered the Latina in the slightest. Sure, her new best friend was really energetic and impulsive. And yeah, sometimes, Brittany couldn't concentrate. But Santana had quickly figured out how to stop her friend from running off or making rash decisions, and would make sure that she was paying attention in the classes they shared.

Then, about two months into freshman year, the incident happened. And Santana spent every day afterwards blaming herself, because it was her fault that Brittany was injured that day.

Santana had never had a normal life. When she was five years old, her parents came home, and brought a group of rather intimidating men with them. One man, who introduced himself as Tony Costello, told her that he would make sure that the mention of her name struck terror into people's hearts. Santana, being a little girl growing up in the rough neighborhood of Lima Heights Adjacent, loved the idea.

As it turned out, Tony Costello was a crime lord. And at five years old, Santana had become the newest member of his empire. Costello had made her into a pawn. Her parents were very good surgeons, and Tony needed them to patch his people up without being worried that they would go to the police. As long as he had control over Santana, her parents would do whatever Tony told them to. So, at five years old, Santana had watched as her parents packed their bags, and got into a black van. She hadn't seen them since.

Costello had moved in two members of his crime empire, a man and a woman who pretended to be Santana's parents. They signed her up for martial arts and acting classes. They taught her how to drive, pickpocket, and use weapons such as knives and guns. They sent her to school and told her to get good grades and make a lot of friends, because nobody would expect the smart social butterfly to be a gang member. They encouraged her to pick up different extracurriculars, with the hopes that she would pick up some useful skills. From an outsider's point of view, they were good parents trying to mold their daughter into the best possible version of herself.

That was never their intention.

To be completely honest, Santana had no idea what the actual names of the man and woman living in her house were. She just called them Mami and Papi, as they had told her to, and tried not to wince whenever they introduced themselves to people using her the names of her parents. If she didn't do everything they asked, she would pay for it in cuts and bruises, which were well-placed and inflicted in a way that wouldn't scar. And if her actual parents did something Costello didn't like, Santana would pay for that, too.

When Santana was only 12 years old, Costello sent her on her first job.

 ** _4 years ago..._**

 ** _Santana was nervous. Very, very nervous. But she kept her face blank as Costello inspected her from where he stood with his arms crossed._**

 ** _"Could I trust you with... yes, I think you'll be able to handle it." he mused. Santana stayed silent. Tony smirked._**

 ** _"Your first job will be to commit an armed robbery of the piano store owned by Al Motta. It's been rather successful recently." he announced._**

 ** _"T-that's in the m-middle of the m-mall." Santana stammered. The man shrugged._**

 ** _"Not my problem. I want it done." he commanded. She nodded weakly. Tony handed her a briefcase._**

 ** _"This is for you. I think you'll find that what's inside will be quite useful." he explained. She nodded again, and Costello patted her on the head._**

 ** _"Good girl. I hope to see you soon." he said. The crime lord then walked out of the house. Santana blew out a shaky breath before opening the briefcase. Inside, she found a pair of knives that she could strap to her hip, two small pistols with holsters, several cartridges of bullets, a pair of black fingerless gloves with metal knuckles, a red bandana, and a pair of black sunglass goggles with reflective red lenses._**

 ** _She picked up the latter, and inhaled deeply. Then, she went to her room and changed into a pair of black jeans, a white shirt, and a leather jacket. She pulled on a pair of combat boots and the fingerless gloves. She strapped her new knives to her side, concealing them just out of sight under her shirt. She tucked the pistols into the insides of her leather jacket, slipping two extra cartridges into her pocket just in case she needed them. She emptied her school backpack, which was a solid black color, and placed her mask and goggles inside. She also put in a stack of cash, a Swiss Army knife, and a matchbox. On her way out of the room, she grabbed a pair of normal black sunglasses and slipped them over her eyes._**

 ** _She hopped on her red bicycle, and pedaled over to the mall. It wasn't very far, only being about two miles from her house. Once she'd arrived, she went around to an isolated area of the building, and hid her bike there._**

 ** _About ten minutes later, she was standing in front of Motta's Pianos, planning her first serious criminal activity. She didn't really want to do it, but she had no choice. Swallowing heavily, she surveyed her surroundings, coming up with possible strategies. Finally, she decided on a tactic, and mentally prepared herself to carry it out._**

 ** _She went to a different section of the mall, and bought a bottle of acetone, and a bag of cotton balls. She soaked several cotton balls in the alcohol, and went back to the piano store. There was a large piano in the very front; she walked over to it. She went into her bag, and pulled out the matchbox, goggles, and bandanna. The Latina swapped out her sunglasses for the goggles. Then, she surreptiously coated the piano keys with the nail polish remover, and left the soaked cotton balls in a pile on top of the lid. She then poured the acetone on the ground in a line. A clerk frowned and started to make his way over._**

 ** _Santana struck a match and set the piano on fire. Screams filled the air as people panicked. The flames spread across the line of acetone she'd poured on the ground, creating a wall of fire. But she knew it wouldn't last long. She had to act fast. She took the opportunity to tie the bandana around her face. Then, she hit a button she'd noticed earlier; the one that lowered a metal gate and closed off the store._**

 ** _The fire had done its job extraordinarily; people were fleeing from the mall, paying no attention to the piano store that had been locked down. The sprinklers kicked in, and the flames began to die down, but Santana had gotten what she wanted: a distraction, and a way to isolate her victims from the rest of the world._**

 ** _She pulled out her guns and stalked towards the terrified customers._**

 **" _This is a stick up. Cashier, I want you to open that register and put all of the money in this bag. Customers, I want you to do the same with your valuables._ " _she ordered in a quiet voice with a hint of a Spanish accent, throwing her backpack at their feet._**

 ** _The terrified people did as she said, taking off their watches and necklaces, handing over their phones and emptying their wallets. She gestured for them to stand against the wall. The cashier finished filling her bag with cash, and she holstered a pistol, keeping the other one raised as she walked forward and snatched the backpack from his hands. He looked terrified, and Santana felt guilty. None of these people deserved to have their day ruined like this. But she needed to survive, and she wouldn't live for very long if she didn't do as Tony said. She sighed, and walked over to the person who looked the richest; a man in a really nice suit._**

 ** _"Car keys. Oh, and tell me what it looks like." she directed, holding a hand out for the item. He forked them over, and she nodded approvingly._**

 ** _"It's a red Maserati." he grumbled. She smiled._**

 ** _"I'd suggest not trying to get this one back. You won't like the consequences." she threatened, and then went and stood on one of the pianos, looking up at an air vent. She pried the vent open, and hoisted herself up into the gap._**

 ** _She crawled through the vent system until she found one that led to outside of the mall, and kicked the grate off. She could see fire trucks parked in front of the mall, and the air was filled with the wailing of police cruisers. She switched her bandana and goggles out for her sunglasses, grabbed her bike, and casually walked over to the flashy red car that the rich man described. She unlocked the car, put the bike in the trunk, and hopped in the driver's seat. She pulled out of the parking lot, and drove out of the neighborhood, taking the car to Costello's house. It was the nicest house in Lima Heights Adjacent; a three story house behind an iron gate. It also had the best security. The house was equipped with an extremely expensive security system, and actually had security guards. In the backyard, she knew Tony had several vicious attack dogs, who would take care of any intruders trying to get in that way. And then, of course, there was Tony himself, who was very good with a gun._**

 ** _She drove up to the gate, and buzzed in._**

 ** _"Piano delivery for Mr. Costello." she said into the intercom. Seconds later, the gate slowly started to slide open. She guided the car up the driveway, and parked it directly in front of the porch. Santana hopped out of the car just as the front door opened to reveal Tony._**

 ** _The crime lord seemed to be speechless, and the Latina felt a small amount of satisfaction. Tony circled the car, inspecting it from every angle. Then, he gestured for Santana to go inside the house._**

 ** _She did as she was commanded, and found her "parents" and several other members of Costello's empire sitting in the living room. Tony followed her in, shutting the door._**

 ** _"What else did you get?" he asked, and she unslung her bag from her shoulders. Tony took the backpack, and opened it. His eyebrows shot up, and he dumped the contents of the backpack on a table._**

 ** _"This was the first job I gave you, and not only did you bring me what I asked for, but you also brought me extra cash, jewelry, phones, and a sports car." he chuckled admiringly. He walked over to the TV, and turned it on. The news came on, with the headline MALL EVACUATED AFTER FIRE._**

 ** _"We're still unsure of what exactly sparked the fire; most of the security cameras suffered water damage, and the few that were unaffected didn't show us anything. We're going to send some people into the mall soon, and hopefully, we can figure this out." A fireman said. Tony laughed louder._**

 ** _"And they haven't even figured out that you robbed a store yet. Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have a promising new member. I officially welcome you to the fold, Diabla." Santana's brow furrowed in confusion._**

 ** _"Diabla?" she wondered. Diabla was her middle name, but she didn't see why he was using it._**

 ** _"We can't have any reputation you gain be associated with your public persona, now can we? You'd be arrested and sent off to juvenile detention. So from now on, whenever you are doing something related to the business, you will go by the name Diabla." Costello explained._**

 ** _"So, people will know me as a Latina devil." she deadpanned. A smile grew on the crime lord's face._**

 ** _"Exactly. And they will fear you."_**

Tony had been right. Over the past four years, Diabla had become a name that everybody knew and feared due to her high-profile crimes and daring escapes. There was no telling when she'd appear, and where she'd strike next. Nobody had ever died as a result of her actions, but she had to make up for the lack of bodies with physical brutality. Otherwise, Tony would get suspicious. And when the crime lord got suspicious, he'd send her a warning.

She'd only ever gotten one warning before. She promised herself that she'd never get another one.

 ** _"Wait up!" Brittany protested. Santana pouted, but slowed her pace. Brittany finally caught up to her, breathing heavily._**

 ** _"How do you run so fast? I have longer legs than you!" she complained. Santana smiled widely._**

 ** _"I go for a jog every morning, remember? And I was on track for a while._** **_" she replied._**

 ** _"Oh, that makes sense now." the blonde commented as they turned a corner. Suddenly, Santana noticed a car roaring down the road towards them. Her eyes widened as she recognized the driver. It was Costello's right hand man, Frank, and there was a dangerous glint in his eye. The car swerved off the street, and onto the pavement. Santana shoved Brittany back around the corner just as Frank jerked the wheel to the side. The back end of the car swung around and clipped Santana's side, sending her flying across the street. Brittany screamed in horror._**

 ** _"San!" she yelled, and went to hurry to her friend's side. But Frank wasn't done yet. He brought the car around to face Santana, knocking a mailbox into the air in the process. It slammed into Brittany's head, and she collapsed, unconscious._**

 ** _"Britt!" Santana called, but the blonde didn't move._** **_The car accelerated towards her, and Santana forced herself to roll out of the way. Just before the car reached where she had just been, it screeched to a halt. Frank rolled down the window. Santana glared up at him, blood and tears running down her face._**

 ** _"What the hell was this for, huh?" she demanded._**

 ** _"Message from Costello. Don't slack off." he replied, and then drove away. She cursed at him as the car disappeared down the road. Then, she crawled over to Brittany. It was a slow process. Her side was practically on fire, and her back throbbed from the harsh impact with the ground. One of her shoulders was dislocated due to the car's impact. The other one was probably fractured; she'd landed on it awkwardly. Her left leg wasn't cooperating with her. White hot pain flared through it every single time she tried to move. She suspected that it was probably injured in some way. And to top everything off, there was a cut on her forehead._**

 ** _She finally reached her best friend, who was lying face down on the ground._**

 ** _"Britt?" She turned the blonde over, and gasped._**

 ** _"Oh my god." The left side of the blonde's head was bleeding heavily. She pulled off her jacket and pressed it to her head, trying to staunch the bleeding. Then, she dug her phone out of her pocket and dialed 911 with shaking fingers._**

 ** _"911, what's your emergency?" the operator asked._**

 ** _"Uh, hi. My friend and I were victims of a hit and run just now. We're both heavily injured, and we need an ambulance." Santana said as calmly as she could. Her voice trembled slightly._**

 ** _"Okay, where are you?"_**

 ** _"We're at the intersection of Central Avenue and High Street."_**

 ** _"Alright, the ambulance will arrive there as soon as possible. Can you detail your injuries?"_**

 ** _"My friend has a severe head wound to the left side of her head. It's bleeding heavily. I've got my jacket pressed to the wound to try and stop the bleeding, but I think that her skull might be fractured, so I'm hesitant to press too hard. I've also pulled her onto my lap so that her head and shoulders are slightly elevated. She's unconscious."_**

 ** _"What about your own injuries?_** **_"_**

 ** _"One arm is definitely dislocated, the other one might be fractured. I think I might have broken some ribs. My hip and back are also throbbing painfully. Oh, and my left leg isn't very happy either." The operator was silent for a minute as they took that information in._**

 ** _"You don't sound like you're in pain." they finally responded carefully. Santana snorted._**

 ** _"Trust me, I am. It's just that my best friend's life seems more important than my comfort right now." she pointed out. She heard the faint sound of a siren, and sighed in relief._**

 ** _"Oh thank God." she breathed._**

 ** _"I wish you and your friend good luck." the operator said._**

 ** _"Thank you." she replied earnestly._**

 ** _"You're welcome." The call was cut, and Santana turned her attention back to her best friend. She brushed some stray hairs out of the blonde's face, lightly grazing her fingers across her forehead._**

 ** _"I'm so sorry, Brittany. This is all my fault." she whispered. The wailing of the sirens was closer now. She only had to wait another minute before police cars and an ambulance arrived on the scene. The paramedics rushed over to her and Brittany, loading the latter onto a stretcher and putting her into the ambulance. Upon realizing that she was heavily injured as well, they put her on a stretcher as well, putting her next to her best friend in the emergency vehicle. Santana tried to stay awake, but the adrenaline was fading, and the pain and exhaustion from her injuries was settling in. She closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep._**

As it turned out, Brittany's head injury was severe enough for her to develop aphasia. Words would get mixed up in her head a lot, and combined with her lack of a filter from the ADHD, she became known at school as a spacey dumb blonde. No one had ever found out about the accident, because there was no evidence to be found. Just a scene of destruction and two very injured girls. Technically, Santana had gotten more physical injuries, but hers healed. Brittany's injuries wouldn't.

No matter how many times the Pierce family told her that it wasn't her fault, the Latina felt directly responsible for Brittany's condition. And she hated it. The worst part of it was the fact that Mr. Pierce was the head detective of the Lima Police Department. She'd watched him spend so much time trying to figure out who had done it, and although she knew exactly who it was, she had to keep her mouth shut. Mr. and Mrs. Pierce acted more like parents to her than her fake ones did, and she had to lie to them about such a big thing.

So as they sat in the library going over the day's Spanish lesson, Santana was well aware of the condescending glances that they were receiving. It didn't matter to the rest of the school that Brittany could speak fluently in Spanish when she wasn't thinking about it too much (She'd picked it up from Santana, and in return, Santana had learned Dutch). All that mattered to them was that Brittany struggled when they saw her. She was mentally making a list of names to go after later. She didn't want to waste their free period, and she knew that it made Brittany feel worse when she saw the Latina defend her in public. It always made Brittany feel self-conscious, and Santana didn't want that.

But Santana's guilt was so great over the incident that if Brittany had had any other friends who understood her as well as she did, she would have cut her ties with the blonde. Sure, she needed Brittany. Her friendship was the only bright spot in a very dark life. But she would be willing to sacrifice that for her best friend. She didn't want her best friend to be hurt again. Anyone who got close to her was a target. That's why Santana had developed such an abrasive personality. If no one came too close, then no one would get hurt. Quinn would have been a problem, if the head cheerleader wasn't so concerned with her reputation.

While they were publically known as the Unholy Trinity, Quinn wasn't as close to Brittany and Santana as their public friendship suggested. They'd hang out at times, yes, but they weren't the best of friends. Quinn spent so much time constructing the facade of McKinley's most popular girl that she simply wasn't available. She'd always be doing homework, or being a model Christian girl in public, or on a date with Finn, or doing something Cheerios related for Sue.

Santana privately thought that she would like the real Quinn. Not school-Quinn, but Quinn with all her masks down. The true Quinn. But she'd rarely seen that Quinn, so she couldn't be sure. And Santana wasn't sure if there was anybody who had actually seen the real Santana Lopez. She honestly had no idea who that was. Brittany might have come very, very close to finding her, though. She felt the most relaxed when she was with her, although she knew she was still hiding a large part of her from her best friend.

The Latina sighed internally, and kept going over the Spanish with Brittany. She knew that her best friend knew the material already, but whenever the blonde got stressed or felt self-conscious, she couldn't remember it. In fact, she was sure that Brittany would ace every class if she didn't feel so pressured all the time. Santana had tested her theory before. She'd taken some of Brittany's tests, and given her the problems while they were hanging out in the blonde's bedroom. She'd done amazingly then. She just couldn't perform under pressure.

So Santana found it completely unfair that Brittany had a low grade point average. Their grades were completely based off of their test scores, and Brittany's mind always blanked out or wandered during tests. If Brittany was just put into a room by herself, and not given a specific time limit, she'd be able to finish tests in the same amount of time as everybody else. And she'd make amazing grades. If the teachers gave Brittany a chance to answer questions and didn't seem so condescending whenever they talked to her, Brittany could show everyone that she was actually a genius. And if people would stop being so goddamn judging of things that they didn't fully understand, then Brittany would thrive. Santana wanted to make that happen for the blonde. She felt that the best place to start was to make more friends, and then, once she was certain that those friends could be trusted, they could help her. They could stand up for her as well. The Latina was tired of being the only person who stood up for what was right.

Quinn's voice rang out suddenly, startling her out of her thoughts.

"The Glee club is starting up again. And Mr. Schuester's in charge of it." the head cheerleader announced. Santana raised an eyebrow.

"The _Glee_ club?" she asked, wanting to make sure that she'd heard right.

"Yup." the blonde nodded. Santana glanced over at Brittany in confusion. Her best friend shrugged minutely. _Sorry, San, but I don't know anything._

"Um, okay. What does this have to do with us?" she wondered.

"Finn joined. And he got paintballed by the football team." Quinn complained in exasperation. Santana tried not to laugh.

"Finn Hudson. Your boyfriend, Finn Hudson. The quarterback of the McKinley Titans, our school's football team, Finn Hudson. _He_ joined the Glee club?" she repeated, amusement coloring her tone. Quinn scowled.

"It's not funny." she snarled.

"It's kind of funny." Brittany commented. Quinn huffed, and rolled her eyes. The bell rang.

"Come on, we should probably head to class." Santana said. She and Brittany gathered up their things, and flanked Quinn as they strode out of the library. On the way, Brittany stopped to chat with a jock in their grade. Santana paused, about to wait for her best friend, when she noticed Quinn glaring at a pair of people down the hall. She looked closer, and realized that it was Finn and Rachel Berry, an annoying girl in their year who was extremely arrogant.

They walked over to the two.

"Hi, Finn." Quinn said. She glanced over at Rachel.

"RuPaul." she acknowledged.

"Hey." Finn greeted.

"What are you doing talking to her?" Quinn asked innocently.

"Science project–we're partners." Berry replied quickly. Santana rolled her eyes internally. She was obviously lying. It had been a terrible lie, too; Santana was in her science class. Quinn ignored the girl, and turned back to her boyfriend.

"Christ Crusaders tonight at 5, my house." she invited. Finn nodded.

"Sounds great." he agreed. Quinn smiled, and turned to leave. Santana followed, moving over to Brittany, and dragging her away from the jock. They hurried off to class.

* * *

Santana walked out of one of her classes, heading straight for the auditorium. She just wanted to be alone for a little while; one of her past crimes had come up during class, and she felt sick to her stomach at the reminder of how terrible a person she was. She sat down at the edge of the stage, and took a small book out of her bag. It was a black leather-bound journal, worn but in fairly good condition considering she used it constantly. It was her songwriting journal.

She'd began writing songs just after her first outing as the criminal Diabla, desperately needing a creative outlet to distract from the stress of her new job. She was pretty proud of the things she had come up with, although she'd never shared her songs with anybody.

She flipped through the pages carefully, stopping at a song she'd written shortly after one of her more brutal jobs, one that had left her with constant nightmares about her victim's terrified face for months. It was entitled "Control".

She closed the book, and started singing. There was no instruments to back her up; her voice was the only sound that rang through the air. It pierced through the silence like an arrow, chasing away the shadows that lay within.

She began in a low tone, pouring as much emotion into the words as possible.

 _They send me away to find them a fortune_  
 _A chest filled with diamonds and gold_  
 _The house was awake_  
 _With shadows and monsters  
The hallways they echoed and groaned_

The job that had inspired her to write this had been a retrieval. She'd been sent in to tell the family to hand over the money they owed. And upon learning that they still didn't have it, she'd been expected to teach them a lesson.

 _I sat alone, in bed 'til the morning_  
 _I'm crying, "They're coming for me."_  
 _And I tried to hold these secrets inside me_  
 _My mind's like a deadly disease_

The aftermath was terrible; she'd sent two people to the hospital with borderline life-threatening injuries. The boss had wanted her to kill them, so that's what she had done instead. She was still punished for not following through with his orders completely. She couldn't sleep for a while afterwards, suffering from both nightmares and physical pain. She'd actually wanted to get help, but she knew she couldn't. So, she wallowed in her poisonous thoughts for a while with tears running down her face, yet not a single sound was emitted from her lips. She suffered in silence.

 _I'm bigger than my body_  
 _I'm colder than this home_  
 _I'm meaner than my demons_  
 _I'm bigger than these bones_

She felt empty a lot of the time. She knew that she could be cruel, and she knew she hurt people day and night, whether it was with her words, or with her fists. And what excuse did she have? She wanted to live, and she wanted her parents to live, how was that enough? Nevertheless, she wasn't going to die if she could help it. That was the easy way out. No, instead, she'd take whatever she got, because she deserved it.

 _And all the kids cried out,_  
 _"Please stop, you're scaring me."_  
 _I can't help this awful energy_  
 _Goddamn right, you should be scared of me_  
 _Who is in control?_

Sometimes she scared herself. There had been a kid in the house, and he was forced to watch her beat up his parents. He'd screamed and cried, and Santana had nearly burst into tears on the spot. Even Diabla wasn't the stone cold criminal that she pretended to be. But she acted like she enjoyed what she did, as if she was Bellatrix Lestrange or someone equally as insane. It sickened her. But she couldn't stop. Not even if someone she cared about asked her to. She was in too deep.

 _I paced around for hours on empty_  
 _I jumped at the slightest of sounds_  
 _And I couldn't stand the person inside me_  
 _I turned all the mirrors around_

She got really depressed sometimes. The days when her "parents" weren't home should have been the days when she felt freer, but instead, she took the opportunity to stop and just feel everything. She would pace back and forth, the faces of all of her victims flashing through her head. Hearing anything would cause her to freeze, not sure whether her "parents" had come back, or whether someone had come to take their revenge on her. Those days, she couldn't even look in the mirror, consumed with too much guilt to face the person she had become.

 _I'm bigger than my body_  
 _I'm colder than this home_  
 _I'm meaner than my demons_  
 _I'm bigger than these bones_

 _And all the kids cried out,_  
 _"Please stop, you're scaring me."_  
 _I can't help this awful energy_  
 _Goddamn right, you should be scared of me_  
 _Who is in control?_

She was slowly losing control, and that was ironic because she always acted as if she was a person who wanted and had control of her life. The cheerleader Santana Lopez, one of the most popular girls in the school, with a reputation that people simultaneously feared and admired. And the criminal Diabla, the villain that haunted the streets of Lima, who no one was safe from.

 _I'm well acquainted_  
 _With villains that live in my bed_  
 _They beg me to write them_  
 _So they'll never die when I'm dead_

 _And I've grown familiar_  
 _With villains that live in my head_  
 _They beg me to write them_  
 _So I'll never die when I'm dead_

Another reason why she wrote songs was that she wanted to give herself a reminder of the terrible things that she felt sometimes. She didn't know why she wanted to memorize the feeling of her emotional pain. She just did. She sometimes thought that it was part of her guilt. Other times, she didn't know what to think.

 _I'm bigger than my body_  
 _I'm colder than this home_  
 _I'm meaner than my demons_  
 _I'm bigger than these bones_

 _And all the kids cried out,_  
 _"Please stop, you're scaring me."_  
 _I can't help this awful energy_  
 _Goddamn right, you should be scared of me_  
 _Who is in control?_

 _And all the kids cried out,_  
 _"Please stop, you're scaring me."_  
 _I can't help this awful energy_  
 _Goddamn right, you should be scared of me_  
 _Who is in control?_

She finished the song, cutting off the last note, and just sitting on the stage, staring into the empty seats. She heard tentative footsteps behind her, and stiffened. Her brows furrowed in confusion when she heard clapping. She turned, and looked confused at the strawberry-blonde haired man standing behind her.

"Your song was very good." he said simply. Santana just stared, not exactly sure what to say. She was still feeling raw from recalling the emotions behind the song, and she'd never seen this guy before.

"My name is Brad. Bradley Jameson Ellis, but you can just call me Brad. I'm the Glee Club pianist." he introduced himself, stretching out a hand. She took it, shaking it cautiously.

"Santana Lopez." she responded.

"Nice to officially meet you. I hear that you'll be joining the Glee Club. I can see why. You really love singing, don't you." he commented. She shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. But to be honest, I'm not joining Glee Club for that reason. It's kind of social suicide, you know." she replied.

"Well, if you have a good enough reason, then you can still enjoy it without sacrificing your reputation." Brad responded. He sat down next to her on the edge of the stage.

"You know, it's kind of annoying playing the piano for Glee. The kids always randomly come in and tell me to "hit it". If I didn't walk around the school so much and overhear them talking about it, I'd never know what to play." he complained.

"They've never questioned it?" Santana asked, astonished.

"Nope. Actually, I can literally go anywhere in this school and not be noticed. I've sat through several uncomfortable conversations before, such as breakups and the truth coming to light. I spent an afternoon in a classroom listening to a lecture, and didn't even register on anyone's radar. I think you're the first person to actually talk to me since I started working here." he said dejectedly. Santana awkwardly patted him on the back.

"Well, I'll give you more of a heads up about what songs are going to be sung when I join. Honestly, everybody in this school is a jerk for not talking to you. But I have to say, being that unnoticed can be useful. Although it makes me wonder why you decided to talk to me..." Santana commented.

"Because after hearing you sing that song, I realized that the true you goes as unnoticed as I do. And that's a sad thing. I'm ignored completely. But you are ignored in favor of a fake you. I thought you could use someone to talk to." he responded wisely. Santana smiled sadly at him.

"Thanks, James." she replied.

"James?" he wondered.

"It's your middle name, basically. It's your new nickname. Because Brad is associated with being written off. I think it's time for something new." she explained. A smile spread across Brad's face.

"Then what should I call you?" he questioned.

"Whatever you like." The school bell rang, and she stood up.

"Alright, well, I've got to go to class now. I'll totally stop by and talk to you more often." she said. Brad flashed her a thumbs up.

"Looking forward to it, Santana. I'll figure out a better nickname in the meantime." he responded. Santana laughed, and walked off, waving over her shoulder. Brad saluted in response. Santana chuckled a little. She felt lighter, somehow. It was a nice feeling.

 **Yay, first chapter done!**


	2. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Hey again! Probably should mention that I don't own Control by Halsey. - Ryta**

* * *

Chapter 2: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Summary: Today, the three most popular girls in McKinley High were joining the most unpopular club in school. Nobody had seen that coming.

* * *

 _But you put on quite a show  
_ _You really had me goin'  
_ _But now it's time to go  
_ _Curtains finally closin'  
_ _That was quite a show  
_ _Very entertaining  
_ _But it's over now  
_ _Go on and take a bow_

From "Take a Bow" by Rihanna

* * *

By the end of the day, Santana had completely forgotten Quinn's role in her joining the Glee Club. But then, Sue called her and Quinn into her office.

"The Glee Club is stealing Cheerios money. I want it shut down." she complained. Quinn and Santana shared a look.

"How are we going to do that?" Quinn asked.

"I want you to destroy the reputations of everybody in that club so badly, no one will ever want to form a Glee Club again." Quinn winced.

"Um, there's a small problem with that." she said.

"Well, what is it?" Sue snapped.

"For some reason, her boyfriend joined the Glee Club. If we destroy his reputation, then we'll destroy hers as well." Santana explained. Sue growled.

"You're kidding, right? Let's go take a look at this circle of geeks." she exclaimed, standing from her desk and storming from the office. Santana and Quinn trailed after her.

"More like the show circle of Gleeks." Santana muttered, and Quinn shot a venomous glare at her. They went into the auditorium, and looked down at the club from the balcony. The sounds of Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" floated up to them. Santana was surprised. They were actually pretty good.

"Ugh, you really aren't kidding. There's Frankenteen, and he's prancing around the stage with Michele, Porcelain, Aretha, Wheels, and Asian. And watching them from the corner is Weepy the Vest Clown." Sue commented in disgust. Santana snorted at the coach's nicknames for everyone down below.

"Your boyfriend has no coordination, Q. I have no idea how he manages to play football." she snarked, watching Finn's awkward dancing with an unimpressed look on her face. Sue made a sound of agreement.

"Shut up, Santana. You don't have to be such a bitch all the time." Quinn snarled, turning scarlet.

"Aw, did I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry. You know what, you're right. I don't have to be a bitch." Santana said in a faux-apologetic tone. Quinn looked confused.

"But I can't help it. Some things just have to be commented on, and Finncapable's dancing is one of them. I mean, how do you date someone who is so inept?" she finished with a smirk. The head cheerleader clenched her fists, and took a step towards her. Santana frowned. This was rather uncharacteristic of the blonde cheerleader. She usually ignored her comments. So why was she reacting badly to a comment about Finnadequate?

"You are going to regret-" Sue placed a hand on both of their shoulders and steered them out of the auditorium.

"Enough. S, while I enjoy hearing you tear people down, we cannot have any fighting amongst ourselves right now. I need you guys to think about how we're going to take that club down without completely damaging your reputations. Report back to me when you have a viable solution. Dismissed." Sue ordered. The two cheerleaders nodded in unison, and walked off in different directions. Santana made her way to the field, wondering why Quinn had reacted so badly. Something niggled at her brain. She stopped short.

" _Puck's hiding something, and it has to do with Quinn. Quinn's also hiding something, and it probably has something to do with how capable Finn is. Are they hiding the same thing? And what big secret would they be keeping? How is it related to Finn?_ " she wondered. She made a list of what she knew.

1\. Finn and Puck were best friends.

2\. Quinn was dating Finn.

3\. Puck had reacted in a strange way to the thought of dating Quinn.

4\. Quinn had reacted in a strange way to the though of Finn being inadequate.

It wasn't much to go on, but Santana would be keeping a closer eye on Puck and Quinn. Finn wasn't very smart, so he'd be terrible at keeping secrets. Therefore, if there was anything interesting going on, Puck and Quinn would be keeping it to themselves.

/

A couple days later, Santana was walking up the stairs with Quinn, looking for Brittany, when she spotted Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury doing their daily routine of awkward flirting.

"Get a room." she told them as she walked by. Behind her, she heard Quinn tell Mr. Schuester that Sue wanted to see him. She found Brittany by their lockers, and she linked pinkies with her best friend, striding off to class. The day passed by rather normally, except for Quinn's period being late. Santana found that strange. Quinn's period was never late. Then, Celibacy Club came around.

Santana and Brittany were sitting in the Celibacy Club classroom, chatting animatedly with each other, when Rachel Berry walked in. They stared at her in shock. Quinn walked in after the annoying girl, looking frustrated. Santana shot her a quizzical look, gesturing subtly towards the newcomer.

" _I'll explain later._ " the head cheerleader mouthed. Several Cheerios entered, and everybody took a seat at a long table near the front of the room. Rachel sat awkwardly by herself near the back. Quinn banged a gavel three times.

The Celibacy Club is now in session." she announced. A few people glanced over at Rachel in confusion.

"Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone join the club, we're welcoming a new member this week. Rachel What's-her-name." Quinn stated with a note of disdain in her voice. Everybody turned to look at the short girl, and she fidgeted awkwardly. Then, she leaned forward.

"Where are all the boys?" Rachel wondered. It was a valid question, but it made her motives for coming to the club all too clear to Santana. She was interested in one of them, and she wanted to see them. Seeing as only one boy in the club had spent any time in the girl's proximity recently, it could be assumed that she had a crush on Finn Hudson.

"Down the hall. First half hour we separate, then we come together to share our faith." Quinn replied coldly. The club proceeded on like normal, the Cheerios largely ignoring the new member of the club. They talked about making out without getting too...distracted, they discussed different outfits, and so on. Rachel looked rather infuriated with the entire idea. Santana didn't blame her. Celibacy club was more of a status thing, not something that everybody was actually practicing.

In the last couple minutes of the club, Quinn asked Santana to give a little demonstration of the club's motto. She obliged, standing in the center of the room and twirling on the spot. The skirt flared up, and she knew that her spanks were rather visible.

"God bless the perv that invented these." Quinn sighed fondly, and Santana smiled at the ridiculousness of the statement. Sure, the skirts were nice and all, but Santana actually liked them for a different reason. The skirt made it all too easy for her to retrieve the pair of knives she had strapped to her lower back, hidden nicely underneath her Cheerios uniform. Just in case she ever needed them.

Santana noticed Brittany biting her lip as the blonde's gaze traveled up her legs. She smirked. She had to admit that that was an added bonus. She wasn't sure how Brittany and her had started messing around, but she had to say, it was much more fun with her best friend than it was with any of the guys.

She had no idea why that was, though. Perhaps it was because Brittany knew her better. That made sense, right? ( **A/N: That's definitely it...** )

"Remember the power motto, girls." Quinn called.

"It's all about the teasing, and not about the pleasing." the Cheerios chorused, breaking into giggles at the end. Everybody started doing a little victory dance.

"Back it up like a dump truck, baby!" someone yelled. Santana glanced over at Rachel, and laughed a little. The girl looked absolutely disgusted by their behavior.

Berry continued to look weirded out as the club went on. Jewfro started awkwardly flirting with her, which Santana could see made her highly uncomfortable. The diva finally exploded after playing one of Quinn's ridiculous celibacy games, just after Finn accidentally popped the balloon.

"You know what? This is a joke. Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesn't work in high schools? Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain. The second we start telling ourselves that there's no room for compromise, we act out. The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. That's what contraception is for." she ranted. Santana looked over at Quinn, and was startled to see a look of absolute rage in her eyes.

"Don't you dare mention the "C" word." she hissed, and Santana realized that there was something in the blonde's tone that suggested severe negative emotions regarding the topic. But why? Little moments started playing through her mind: Puck's strange reaction to Quinn's name, Quinn's moodiness and dramatic reactions, the way that Quinn seemed to hate Rachel more recently for talking with her quarterback boyfriend, the hint of fear that she'd ignored when she'd teased the blonde about Finn's inadequacy, and Quinn's late period. The pieces of the big secret started to fit together in her mind.

" _Dios mio_." she whispered, her eyes widening. Puck shot her a strange look, but she ignored him. _Quinn was pregnant_.

She barely heard Rachel storm out after saying something about girls wanting sex just as much as guys do. But she did scoff and look disgusted when Jewfro asked her whether that statement was accurate. Quinn suddenly turned and strode out of the room. Santana quickly went after her.

"Leave me alone, Santana." the blonde snarled.

"I can't. Because I know that a stork has come to Bethlehem, and the Celibacy Club's not Finn-ished, but you Puck-ered up anyways. You need to trust the Trinity right now, Quinn, even if it's unholy." she said, using code to express her knowledge of the situation. Quinn looked really confused. They made it about 50 feet down the hall before Quinn's eyes widened and she almost fell over.

"How did-" she sputtered, her face pale.

"I'm observant. I spend a lot of time watching people. I notice a lot of things about people's relationships. Sometimes I notice too much." Santana sighed. Quinn laughed.

"You're observant? Santana, you walk all over people's feelings on a daily basis." she replied disbelievingly.

"Yes, I'm observant. When I make my comments, I generally don't make them about the issue that would bother someone the most. I tease Finn about his weight, not about his dead father. I insult Berry about her dreams, because I know she's worked too hard on them to let anything I say stop her from achieving them." Santana responded. Quinn was silent for a couple minutes, absorbing her words. By this time, they had exited the school and were sitting on the top row of the bleachers overlooking the field.

"So what am I going to do? I'm screwed." the blonde finally asked.

"First off, our little trio is going to join Glee Club. We need to keep your boyfriend's eyes from wandering over to Berry. However, we're going to need them to do something big first, so we have a good excuse to give to Sue. I'm going to date Puck for a little while to make sure that you two aren't suspect in any way, while you reveal to Finn that you're pregnant. I'm assuming that you're going to tell him that it's his. I don't care if you guys have never actually done the deed, just make something up. To be honest, he's not very bright, so he'll probably accept whatever you say. After that, we're going to start looking into your future. I don't know if you're keeping it or not, so I'm going to look into a couple adoption centers, find out what you're supposed to be doing while pregnant, and learn what you'll need financially. But just be warned, the minute news of your bun in the oven breaks, you'll be targeted constantly. I'll do my best to try and take some of the heat off of you, but I won't be able to help you too much. Because if I seem too sympathetic, my reputation goes down too, and then I can't help you at all." Quinn looked really surprised.

"I only realized I was pregnant around a week ago, when I took a test. When did you figure it out?" she wondered.

"About two minutes before you walked out of Celibacy Club." Santana admitted. The blonde stared at her in shock.

"Then why do you sound like you've thought this out so thoroughly?" she questioned.

"Quinn, I have plans for a lot of different possibilities." _It's what happens when you live a life of crime. You've got to be prepared for everything._

"Like what?" Quinn pressed.

"Well, other than the 'my friend is pregnant' event, I've got plans for a school shooting, suicidal or depressed classmates, stalkers or predators, abusive relationships, natural disasters, various medical emergencies, friends being kicked out of their homes, humiliation, loss of reputation, accidents, excessive bullying, etc." Santana listed, suddenly realizing that she was a) way too paranoid and cautious, and b) somehow had way too much time on her hands, which was strange because she was always doing something important. She suspected that the planning for all of these things had probably taken place when she was supposed be asleep. That probably explained why she was much more abrasive in the mornings. She glanced over at Quinn, and almost burst into laughter. She looked as if someone had unexpectedly introduced a pie or slushy to her face.

"What the hell?" Santana knew Quinn didn't really curse much, so the blonde must have definitely not been expecting that answer.

"Better to be safe than sorry, right?" she said in an amused tone.

"Yeah..." Quinn said, a faraway look in her eyes. Santana rethought her words, and cursed. She'd suddenly realized that her words could totally refer to the use of protection and birth control.

"Shit, sorry about that, Q." she apologized. Quinn waved her off.

"It's alright." The bell rang, and they stood, making their way back towards the school. They found everybody heading towards the gym for the daily assembly.

5 minutes later, Santana was seated with Quinn, and the rest of the Cheerios listening to Principal Figgins talk.

"Silence, children. Silence. First, an announcement. The toilets are broken again. We are fixing the problem. But let me warn you. There will be zero tolerance for anyone soiling school grounds. We're not going to have a repeat of the last time." Santana shuddered at the reminder.

"We have a treat for you guys today. Mr. Schuester." Figgins continued. Ms. Pillsbury started clapping enthusiastically.

"Yay, Glee! Glee kids, hooray!" The Latina rolled her eyes, wishing that Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury would realize that they were perfect for each other, get out of any relationships they were currently in, and go on a date already.

The Spanish teacher stepped up to the microphone.

"Uh, hi. Uh, when I went to school here, Glee Club ruled this place. And we're on our way back." Santana raised an eyebrow. _Really?_ _Because it doesn't seem that way._

"But we need some recruits to join the party. Now, I can tell you all about how great Glee is, but, uh, I think I'm gonna let some friends of mine show you instead." the teacher finished, grinning as he gestured behind him. The teacher sat down, and Santana watched his excited expression turn to a horrified one as the first line of a familiar song reached their ears.

 _Get up on this!_

Yup, Santana was pretty sure that Mr. Schuester had not approved this performance. She watched in glee (pun totally intended) as Sue began to look even more scandalized by the second, especially because Figgins was swaying back and forth to the music. The performance was really sexualized; Santana wasn't sure whether she was more entertained by the sight or in awe at the club's audacity. Mr. Schuester looked embarrassed, and Ms. Pillsbury was dancing in her seat a little. The kicker was when Berry _climbed onto Finn_ , looped her hands around his neck, glanced over her shoulder, and proceeded to _bounce up and down_ _while he gripped onto her thighs_. They were practically getting their mack on, and Santana wanted to laugh so badly at everybody's expressions. She glanced over at Brittany, sitting right in front of Quinn. Her best friend was looking directly at her, eyes shining. She seemed to be having a similar struggle. Santana reached forward, wrapped her right pinky around Brittany's left one, and squeezed tightly.

When the performance was finally over (which, strangely, made Santana kind of sad; she'd been enjoying the secondhand embarrassment emanating from Sue, Mr. Schuester, and Quinn), there was a moment of absolute silence. The Glee Club looked around awkwardly. No one moved. Then, Jacob Ben Israel shot out of his seat.

"YES!" he screamed, and the entire gym exploded into cheers. Santana pressed her lips together to keep from cackling hysterically. Quinn leaned over to her with a stormy expression on her face.

"I need you and Brittany to choreograph something tonight; we're joining Glee tomorrow." she muttered. Santana flashed her a thumbs up. It wouldn't be hard to do that; Brittany and her always did the choreography for the Cheerios routines (although Sue either added or forced them to add crazy stunts to them). Honestly, that was probably why the Trinity was the most popular group of girls in the squad. The older girls were good cheerleaders, yes, but her and Brittany created the winning routines. They worked really well with each other. Brittany could dance, and Santana noticed everybody's strengths and weaknesses. She would point them out to the dancer, who would choreograph accordingly. Quinn was good at leading and encouraging, which was probably why she was captain. Also, Sue liked her more because Quinn apparently reminded her of a "younger Sue Sylvester."

As the students began filing out of the gym, Santana and Quinn slipped through the crowd and met up with Brittany.

"We need to choreograph a number." Santana told her.

"For what?" her best friend asked.

"We're joining Glee Club tomorrow. I need to make sure that what just happened on that stage with my boyfriend _never_ happens again." Quinn explained.

"My eyes are still burning." Santana joked, and Brittany giggled. Quinn glared.

"So, what song are we doing in our audition?" Brittany asked.

"I Say A Little Prayer." Quinn said. Santana raised an eyebrow.

"Wasn't that covered at some point by Aretha Franklin?" she wondered.

"Yes, and it's the perfect song because it's not sexualized in any way, yet it's still about love." Quinn stated firmly. Santana shrugged.

"Alright, Britt and I will work on it after school; we'll meet up with you sometime tonight." The head cheerleader nodded and left, heading to her locker. Santana turned to her best friend, and held out her right pinky.

"Ready to go to class?" she asked. Brittany linked their pinkies, and smiled.

"Yup." she agreed. They walked off, Santana's mind whirling with possibilities for the dance.

* * *

She sat in the corner of the school dance studio, singing Rihanna's "Disturbia" while Brittany danced.

 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

Her eyes were firmly fixed on her best friend as she moved to the music.

 _What's wrong with me?_  
 _Why do I feel like this?_  
 _I'm going crazy now_

The Cheerios uniform didn't leave much to the imagination, so Santana could clearly see every move the dancer made.

 _No more gas in the rig_  
 _Can't even get it started_  
 _Nothing heard, nothing said_  
 _Can't even speak about it_  
 _Out my life, out my head_  
 _Don't wanna think about it_  
 _Feels like I'm going insane_  
 _Yeah_

She never really stopped to think about why she was so captivated by Brittany, especially when she danced. She was straight, and that was that. Brittany was extremely attractive, yes, but she was allowed to notice these things, right? It didn't mean that she had a crush on her.

 _It's a thief in the night_  
 _To come and grab you_  
 _It can creep up inside you_  
 _And consume you_  
 _A disease of the mind_  
 _It can control you_  
 _It's too close for comfort_

She bit her lip as Brittany flicked her hips to the side and smiled in a way that made her heart speed up.

 _Throw on your brake lights_  
 _We're in the city of wonder_  
 _Ain't gonna play nice_  
 _Watch out, you might just go under_  
 _Better think twice_  
 _Your train of thought will be altered_  
 _So if you must falter be wise_

Okay, so maybe her feelings for Brittany weren't purely platonic. Because if they were, the blonde wouldn't be affecting her this way. But she wasn't gay.

 _Your mind is in disturbia_  
 _It's like the darkness is the light_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Am I scaring you tonight?_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Ain't used to what you like_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Disturbia_

If she was gay, she wouldn't have slept with any guys. Not that any of them had actually meant anything to her, and not that she'd particularly enjoyed the experiences, but... She frowned at her thoughts slightly.

 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

Yup, she definitely needed to keep dating Puck. She was starting to doubt her sexuality. And that wasn't good. Because if she was gay, it would be catastrophic if her "parents" or any of the students at McKinley found out.

 _Faded pictures on the wall_  
 _It's like they talkin' to me_  
 _Disconnecting all the calls_  
 _Your phone don't even ring_  
 _I gotta get out_  
 _Or figure this shit out_  
 _It's too close for comfort, oh._

Kurt Hummel, even though he wasn't technically out, was bullied incessantly for the way he acted (because he couldn't be any less obvious about it). Dave Karofsky treated him the worst (although Santana privately suspected that the bully wasn't quite straight himself.)

 _It's a thief in the night_  
 _To come and grab you_  
 _It can creep up inside you_  
 _And consume you_  
 _A disease of the mind_  
 _It can control you_  
 _I feel like a monster_

Her "parents" would probably beat the crap out of her daily, more often than normal, and Santana wanted to avoid that.

 _Throw on your brake lights_  
 _We're in the city of wonder (City of lights)_  
 _Ain't gonna play nice (oh)_  
 _Watch out, you might just go under_  
 _Better think twice (think twice)_  
 _Your train of thought will be altered_  
 _So if you must falter be wise (be wise)_

So, yeah, Santana wanted to be straight. She wasn't homophobic at all, it just wasn't in her best interest to be gay.

 _Your mind is in disturbia_  
 _It's like the darkness is the light_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Am I scaring you tonight?_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Ain't used to what you like (what you like)_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Disturbia_

And so what if she never got to be who she truly was? It's not like that was in her future, anyways.

 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

She would probably live her life of lies for as long as she lived.

 _Release me from this curse I'm in_  
 _Trying to maintain_  
 _But I'm struggling_  
 _If you can't go, go, go_  
 _I think I'm gonna oh, oh, oh_

She hated the thought, but she'd accepted her fate a long time ago.

 _Throw on your brake lights_  
 _We're in the city of wonder_  
 _Ain't gonna play nice_  
 _Watch out, you might just go under_  
 _Better think twice (better think twice)_  
 _Your train of thought will be altered_  
 _So if you must falter be wise (if you must falter be wise)_

There was no escaping it.

 _Your mind is in disturbia_  
 _It's like the darkness is the light_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Am I scaring you tonight?_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Ain't used to what you like (disturbia)_  
 _Disturbia_  
 _Disturbia_

So why bother with things that she couldn't have?

 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_  
 _Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum_

Brittany stopped dancing, and turned, meeting Santana's intense gaze.

" _I'd rather enjoy what I can._ " she thought, a small smirk on her lips. She was very excited to meet up with Brittany after school. They'd be working on the choreography for their audition, among other things.

Yes, she'd take what she could get. And she'd savor it for as long as possible. Because she knew that one day, everything would be ripped away from her, one way or another.

* * *

"Okay, so I was thinking that we could start by shaking our hips to the beat." Santana suggested. They were sitting in Brittany's bedroom, listening to "I Say A Little Prayer" from Santana's laptop.

"With our dominant hands on our hips, and bouncing our left legs?" Brittany asked. The Latina nodded.

"Yeah, exactly. And Quinn could be behind us, while we go through the intro." she finished.

"Ooh, and then for the first line: _Say a little prayer for youuuuu..._ , we could make a calling gesture with our dominant hands on _say_ , and then press our palms together on _prayer_ , and then sweep outwards while pointing on _you_." Brittany added.

"After that, we could step outwards, and let Quinn turn and move in front of us. We'll keep doing the hip bouncing thing, with both hands on our hips this time, and then make a rising motion to our sides with our dominant hands on _wake up_. Quinn can do the same with both of her hands."

"It would look a bit better if she wasn't facing straight forwards, so she could turn her hips to the right when she does that. After that, we go back to pulsing to the rhythm, and Quinn could bend her knees and straighten on _put on_ , and then mime opening a makeup case on _my makeup._ "

"Right, and on the echoing _makeup_ , we mirror her, and fan our left hands near our face as if we are putting on blush or something."

"And then on _Say A Little Prayer_ , we do something similar to the first part, with the calling gesture, and the palms pressed together. But on _you_ , the sweeping point is more-" Santana's phone rang, and Brittany stopped talking abruptly. The blonde picked up the phone and put it on speaker.

"Brittana." Brittana was a mash up of the duo's names ( **A/N: Duh** ), and Brittany would use it whenever she either answered Santana's phone, or wanted to let someone else know that Santana was with her. Santana did the same thing with the portmanteau Santittany. They didn't know why they did that, but they liked it, and studiously ignored Quinn's constant mutterings about it sounding like a ship name. Speaking of which:

" _Why do your names go so well together? Fuinn sounds terrible, and Fabson just sounds... I don't even know how to describe it. But Brittana has such a nice ring to it, and you two aren't even in a romantic relationship. Not that you would be, but yeah._ " Quinn rambled. Brittany blinked.

"Why would we have rings? We aren't married. And like you said, we're not dating, either." she blurted without thinking. Santana sighed. Brittany tended to pick out certain words in sentences and interpret them the wrong way. Then, she'd blurt out the first thing that came to her mind.

" _Huh?_ " Quinn asked.

" _The ring thing was an expression._ " the Latina whispered. Brittany's eyes widened in realization.

"Never mind. Anyways, if you're so annoyed because you can't make a cool porterhouse - " Santana interrupted her.

" _Portmanteau._ " she hissed.

"Portmanteau with your names, then you could always find another person to date." she amended.

" _What?_ " Quinn shrieked. Santana tried not to chuckle. Brittany was totally messing with Quinn. That was the only upside of the blonde's reputation; Brittany could say whatever she wanted and people wouldn't think it out of the ordinary. She glanced at Santana, a mischievous look shining in her blue eyes.

"You know, like a new boyfriend? Or maybe even a girlfriend. Think of all the possibilities. There's Quartie, and Quinncedes, and Fabrahummel, and Fabang-"

" _Please stop talking._ " Quinn groaned.

"What about Faberry?" Brittany suggested. Santana bit her lip, shaking uncontrollably.

" _Brittany, where is Santana? Please let me talk to Santana._ " the head cheerleader begged.

"Fabrofsky?" the blonde tried. The mentioned Latina practically convulsed with laughter.

" _I swear to God, Brittany. Stop talking. Give the phone to Santana._ " Quinn pleaded.

"Oooh, here's a good one. Quick!" she chirped. Santana fell off the bed, one hand pressed to her mouth to stifle her giggles. Brittany was such a troll sometimes.

" _Quick? SANTANA, GODDAMNIT, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?_ " the head cheerleader finally exploded. Santana pretended that she'd just entered the room.

"Hey, Britt, who are you talking to? And why are they yelling?" she asked casually.

"Oh, it's just Quinn. For some reason, she doesn't like her ship name with Finn." Brittany responded cheerfully.

"Hey, Quinn. What's up?"

" _How's the choreography coming along?_ "

"We've got the first part down. Want to come over and figure out the rest?" Santana invited, first looking towards Brittany for permission. The blonde gave her a thumbs up.

" _Sure. I'll be there in 30._ " Quinn replied.

"Get here _quick_ , we've got bacon." Brittany added. Quinn made an unintelligible noise, and hung up.

"While the wordplay was amazing, we don't actually have bacon." Santana pointed out.

"We can go make some." Brittany replied, standing up.

"Thank God for fast metabolisms." Santana sighed, and followed her best friend out of the room. They fried some bacon and decided to make guacamole as well, taking a large platter full of food, a couple of plates, and some silverware up to Brittany's bedroom. While they waited for Quinn, they kept choreographing their dance.

They were taking a short break when Brittany suddenly looked over at her, blue eyes searching the Latina's face. Santana stilled, meeting the blonde's gaze, which seemed to be asking a question. She got her answer in the form of a quick glance at her lips; the brunette's eyes darkened as her breath hitched. Brittany leaned in, and gently pressed her lips to the edge of Santana's mouth. She lingered there for a second, and then pulled back a couple centimeters, sky blue eyes staring deep into chocolate brown. Santana stared back, even as her best friend traced a line up her jaw with careful fingers. The blonde brushed the Latina's hair behind her ear, cupped her cheek, and kissed her again.

Santana's eyes fluttered shut, and she sighed contentedly. She wrapped her hands around her best friend's neck as she straddled her, the blonde's hands wandering downwards and settling on her hips. Brittany leaned back against the headboard of the bed as Santana rose up on her knees to deepen the kiss.

She loved doing this with Brittany; she was never too rough, and her lips were always soft. It was comfortable. In comparison, boys always wanted to be in charge (not that she'd let them), and were always focused on getting themselves off. It never felt quite right with boys. But just because she liked getting her sweet lady kisses on with Brittany didn't mean that she was gay or anything. It was just that her best friend instinctively knew what she wanted, and vice versa. She wasn't in love with her; they were best friends (with benefits), nothing more. ( **A/N: Riiiiight...** )

They finally broke apart when they heard the doorbell ring. Quickly fixing themselves up so that they didn't look like they'd just been having a heated makeout session, they ran downstairs to let Quinn in. The trio went back up to Brittany's bedroom, and Santana passed Quinn a plate of chips, guacamole, and bacon, the latter of which was still surprisingly crispy.

"Thanks." Quinn said just before she took a bite of bacon.

"No problem, although don't tell Coach, okay?" Santana joked.

"Don't worry, I won't. The Master Cleanse is bad enough. We don't need to be assigned extra workouts as well." Quinn replied. She took another bite, chewed carefully, and swallowed. Then, she turned her attention to Brittany and Santana.

"So what have you guys been doing?" the blonde asked. Santana and Brittany shared a look and smiled.

"This is what we've arranged so far." Brittany said, and explained the choreography. Quinn nodded approvingly.

"Great. Glee Club will never see us coming." she said. Santana was pretty excited. The next day would be interesting, to say the least. She hoped that everything would go as planned. They'd get into Glee, shut it down, and move on with their lives. She'd probably ask Brad for piano lessons, just to make sure the guy wasn't just dropped like a piece of trash.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on who you were), their plans went awry. Santana hated when that happened. It never ended well for her. She could only hope that it wouldn't be so painful this time.


	3. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

**Hello again! Back with another update for you guys! To the two people that reviewed: thanks for the comments! I'm glad you like the songs that I choose, and it's great that you find the story interesting. More notes at the bottom! - Ryta**

* * *

Chapter 3: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Summary: Adjusting was easy for Santana. She found having fun while adjusting a little harder.

* * *

 _I made it through the wilderness_  
 _Somehow I made it through_  
 _Didn't know how lost I was_  
 _Until I found you_

\- from "Like a Virgin" by Madonna

* * *

Santana slowly stepped into the choir room after school, half-expecting slushies to come raining down the second her foot crossed the threshold. She took a deep breath, and moved into the room, Brittany trailing behind her. Quinn had already taken a seat in one of the choir chairs. Santana headed for a chair in the back of the room, sending a small smile towards Brad as she passed the piano. He flashed her a thumbs up and winked discreetly.

"Hey, everyone! As you've probably noticed, we have three new members today. Could you come up to the front of the room and introduce yourselves?" Mr. Schuester asked just as she sat down. She stood back up, sighing slightly, and striding confidently up to the front.

"Tell everyone your names and an interesting fact about yourself." the inept Spanish teacher suggested. Santana huffed.

"Unless you've all been living under a rock, you know who we are. If you are in fact completely unaware of the social structure of this school, then the first thing you should know is that they call us the Unholy Trinity." she snarked. Quinn sent her a small glare and stepped forward.

"I am Quinn Fabray, sophomore and the head cheerleader. An interesting fact that you actually should already be aware of is that Finn Hudson, the quarterback of the football team, is my boyfriend." She introduced, smiling at Finn. Then, the blonde sent a poisonous glare towards Rachel Berry, who was sitting front and center.

Santana rolled her eyes. Mr. Schuester raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment.

"Alright. You're up next." he said, gesturing at Brittany.

"My name's Brittany Pierce. I'm a Cheerio and I really like cats and dancing." she chirped happily. Mr. Schuester nodded slowly.

"Okay, then, Brittany. Very interesting. Last but not least..." he turned to the Latina.

"The name's Santana Lopez. Also a Cheerio, if you hadn't figured that out already because of the bright red uniform. As for my interesting fact... well, I'm good with my hands. And I don't mean that in a wanky way, although that's not untrue either. Will that work?" she drawled in a cold, detached tone. Mr. Schuester looked vaguely uncomfortable, but forced a smile.

"Yup, that's fine." he answered.

"Hold up, Mr. Schue. I've got a question for Santana." She turned to the kids sitting in the seats, and identified the speaker as Mercedes Jones.

"Shoot." she told the girl.

"What did you actually mean? When you said you were good with your hands?" Mercedes questioned. Santana smirked.

"That fact applies to a lot of things, trust me." she promised. Quinn and Brittany had already sat down, so she went back to her seat, and sat down.

"Now, just so that we all get an idea of everyone's abilities, we are going to go to the auditorium. There, each one of you is going to come up and do a solo. It can be any song you've memorized. Who wants to go first?" Mr. Schuester announced. Predictably, Rachel's hand shot into the air. The Spanish teacher smiled at her and started to move out of the room. Everybody followed him. Santana hung back to talk with Brad.

"Hey, James." she whispered.

"How's it going, Flare?" he murmured back. Santana raised an eyebrow.

"Flare?" He shrugged.

"In school, you're rather prone to sudden bursts of emotion. And you remind of me of fire. On one hand, it can rage around, burn things, and destroy everything around you. On the other hand, it can also warm your bones, and light the way through the darkness. But only if you're careful with it. Also, a flare is a bright signal that's used as a sign, or a call for help. I've glimpsed behind that mask that you wear, and I know you need help. I don't know what exactly you need help with, and I don't expect you to ever tell me, but I'm here for you if you need me." he explained, looking at her earnestly. She glanced away, her vision slightly blurry with tears. No one except for Brittany had ever been so willing to be there for her before. She blinked rapidly, and smiled.

"Thank you, James." she said, touching his shoulder gently.

"Just so you know, Rachel really likes Barbra Streisand. And I've seen her videos; she's clearly stated that her favorite song is "Don't Rain On My Parade". I'm not sure about Kurt, but I think he's actually a countertenor, so it's probably going to be a song by a female with a high vocal range. Mercedes is a soprano, and I think she really likes Aretha Franklin. I think Artie's into bands, and Tina's into pop, so I can play for their songs. Finn's a bit of a wild card; I don't know what goes on in that guy's head. But I do know exactly what Quinn and Brittany are doing, so I'll cover them too. Oh, and I'll play the accompaniment for my own song as well." she told him. Brad sighed in relief.

"Oh, thank god. I've got an entire storage case full of Broadway songs and music that you'd probably consider old, so I'm just going to go grab that. And then, we can take a shortcut to the auditorium." Santana followed him curiously as he retrieved the storage case, and disappeared through a small door she hadn't noticed previously. A minute later, they were backstage.

"That's useful." she commented. Brad beamed.

"Isn't it?" At that moment, she heard the Glee club enter the auditorium.

"I think we lost Santana, Mr. Schue." Brittany said worriedly.

"No, Britt, we're fine. James and I decided to take a different route." Santana called as she stepped out from behind the curtain.

"Santana, his name is Brad." Mr. Schuester commented. She shrugged in response, and joined the Glee club in the seats. Rachel got on stage, and just as Santana had predicted, she sang "Don't Rain On My Parade". Kurt followed with "I'll Remember" by Madonna. Then came Mercedes, who sang "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Aretha Franklin. Each of them gave Brad about a minute of warning before they started singing. Santana shook her head in disbelief. She realized that Artie was up next, and stood up. Everybody stared at her in confusion, but she ignored them, making her way onto the stage. Since Artie's vocal style seemed to fit music by bands, it would probably be easiest to cover it with an acoustic guitar.

"Can you do Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day? I'm not so sure about it being played on a piano, though." she heard Artie whisper to Brad. The pianist simply gestured in her direction, and Artie turned and stared at her in confusion. She dragged a stool out onto stage, and nodded at him.

"Whenever you're ready." she said simply. Then, she looked at the rest of the Glee club, all of whom looked confused. Brittany was the only one who didn't seem shocked.

Artie took a deep breath, and wheeled up next to her.

"Okay. 1, 2, 3, 4..." Santana began to play. She focused on mimicking the original song as closely as she possibly could, barely even aware of her surroundings. When Artie finished the song, everybody clapped loudly. He looked over at her.

"Thanks." he said.

"You're welcome." she replied shortly. He wheeled off the stage. Tina came up next, and walked straight up to her.

"Uh, h-hi. C-could you b-by chance play "The Climb" b-by M-miley Cyrus?" Santana blew out a breath.

"Alright, Asian. Show them what you've got." Tina smiled at her a little, and grabbed the microphone. Santana had to admit that the girl was pretty damn good. She was just shy. If she put herself out there a little more, she could do amazing things. The shy girl thanked her hesitantly, and went back to her seat.

Next up was Finn. He looked mildly uncomfortable, and fidgeted slightly as he walked up to her.

"Hey, Santana." he greeted. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Finnocence." she returned. He sighed.

"I'm going to do "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz for Quinn. Can you help me out?" he asked. She narrowed her eyes at the tall teen, noting that he was wearing what she liked to call his gassy infant face. And that particular expression only showed up at a certain time.

"Feeling guilty about something, Hudson?" she probed, and Finn's eyes widened ever-so-slightly.

"No, no. Just- can't I sing a song for my girlfriend, Lopez?" he replied defensively. She analyzed him.

"Fine. Get up there." she ordered, and he nodded, walking quickly to the center of the stage. The quarterback had a pretty good voice, but Santana honestly didn't like him very much. He was rather insensitive, and could also be extremely arrogant at times. Sure, he had his moments of sweetness. But sometimes, he didn't think about the consequences of his words and actions, and he ended up looking the fool.

Quinn followed her boyfriend's act, having Santana play "Sober" by Pink. It was a good choice; Quinn's alto was able to pull off the lower timbre of the song, and Santana found the title of the song ironic, considering the fact that Quinn had gotten impregnated while drunk.

Then, Brittany bounced up to the stage. She hurried over to Santana, smiling widely.

"Hey, San! Your accompaniment skills are great!" she said. The Latina smirked at her.

"What do you want me to play?" she asked.

"I'm going to do "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. I was hoping that you could play the accompaniment on the piano? Please?" the blonde replied. She'd been the first person to say 'please' the entire time.

"Sure thing, Britt." she answered. She stood from her stool, and returned the guitar backstage. Then, she went over to Brad.

"I'm playing the piano on this one." she explained. He nodded, flashed her a quick smile, and stood, letting her take his seat. She glanced over at Brittany, who gave her a thumbs up.

"Just Dance" was a little bit slower when played on the piano, but that allowed Brittany to showcase her dance moves while she sang. Santana could see that the other Glee kids were impressed by her best friend's skills.

"You're really good at dancing, Brittany." Mr. Shuester commented when the song came to a close. Brittany grinned.

"Thanks!" she responded, and practically skipped off the stage. That left Santana to sing her song. She looked over at Brad, who smiled encouragingly. She took a deep breath.

Just once, she'd let the Glee kids see inside her head. If they were listening closely enough, then they'd realize something was up. If not, they'd probably never be able to help her.

She walked over to her backpack, and extracted her songwriting journal. She flipped to a certain page, and pulled out a sheet of paper that had been tucked inside the book. She turned, and handed it to Brad. The page held the piano music for the song she planned on playing.

"Can you please-" he interrupted her.

"I've got it covered." Brad said softly. She blew out a breath, and nodded to herself.

"You can do this." she whispered.

She went and got the acoustic guitar again. Then, she moved the stool so that it was in the center of the stage, and sat down. Brad started playing the first notes. After 16 beats, she started plucking out a rhythmic tune. 16 more beats went by before she began to sing.

 _Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?_  
 _Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?_  
 _Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?_  
 _Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?_

The day she bought a champagne bottle worth $100, she'd been feeling pretty low. She'd been at a party, and had suddenly been struck violently with the realization that she was probably going to spend the rest of her life in pain, and nobody would ever notice.

 _Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?_  
 _Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?_  
 _Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?_  
 _Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?_

She'd gone to the liquor store meaning to buy something that would allow her to escape from reality (she refused to use drugs; Costello did a lot of business with those, and Diabla had spent a lot of time shutting down his competition.)

 _And all the people say,_

 _"You can't wake up, this is not a dream,_  
 _You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,_  
 _With your face all made up, living on a screen,_  
 _Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline."_

Every single day, she wished that her parents had never gotten tangled up with Costello. She wished that she was just a normal bitchy cheerleader, who happened to be messing around with her best friend Brittany. She was so sick of wearing masks; she hated going about her day while putting up a facade. She moved through life like an old robot; impersonally, mechanically, and with constantly rusted joints that she wouldn't dare let creak, for fear that the person who did would get hurt.

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh,_  
 _I think there's a flaw in my code,_  
 _Oh, oh, oh, oh,_  
 _These voices won't leave me alone,_

 _Well my heart is gold, and my hands are cold,_

She'd never been able to fade completely into her persona of Diabla. How would she? It's not as if she could just flip a switch and swap personalities. So she was constantly plagued by her past; memories of beatings, gang violence, death, and pain forming a demented chorus from Hell. She knew she still had morals and emotions, deep inside of her. But on the outside, those things were completely dead. Her pain was her own to bear, and she would bear it.

 _Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me?_  
 _Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?_  
 _Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?_  
 _Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?_

At school, she did a lot of posturing. A lot of it. She was the biggest bully in the school, next to Karofsky and his jocks. She viciously tore people apart with well-aimed words, threw slushies into the faces of those who stuck out for the wrong reason, and wasn't afraid to play dirty in order to get what she wanted. She started shit just to see it play out and bring things down, and she always walked away laughing. But she'd never own up to her actions. She was a bitch; that was the best way to describe her.

 _And all the people say,_

 _"You can't wake up, this is not a dream,_  
 _You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,_  
 _With your face all made up, living on a screen,_  
 _Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline."_

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh,_  
 _I think there's a flaw in my code,_  
 _Oh, oh, oh, oh,_  
 _These voices won't leave me alone,_

 _Well my heart is gold, and my hands are cold._

The last strum of her guitar resonated in the empty air, slowly fading away. The room was dead silent. Then, the Glee Club began clapping.

"That was amazing, Santana. I never knew that you could play the guitar." Mr. Schuester said.

"It's not a skill that I flaunt that often." she responded. The Spanish teacher nodded and started talking about the next week's assignment. Her heart sank. He hadn't been paying enough attention. But she'd been expecting it. Not many people cared enough to look past her mask and see her. She walked over to Brad, who looked disappointed.

"I cannot believe that William Schuester is that oblivious." he said flatly. She shrugged, her face completely blank.

"He always has been. Do you know how many months I've spent watching him pine over Ms. Pillsbury?" she deflected.

"I know that you're more disappointed then you appear. You don't have to hide yourself from me, Flare." the pianist stated. She looked at him sadly.

"James, I hide myself from everybody, even myself. It's nothing to do with you." Brad nodded at her, a serious look on his face. She turned and walked away.

* * *

Glee Club ended up being surprisingly tough to take down. Not for a lack of trying on the Unholy Trinity's part, though. She, Quinn, and Brittany had tried everything: they'd spent some time turning the members against each other, convinced them to do things that would set them up for failure; and even made sure the club members all had terrible reputations at school which lead to them being picked on more often. But they were stubborn. And it didn't help that all three of them kind of enjoyed the club, even though they didn't plan on admitting it.

A couple of the football players had joined the club, which made it easy for Santana and Brittany to both get boyfriends. Santana dated Matt Rutherford, while Brittany dated Mike Chang. Neither relationship was that serious, and the two best friends continued messing around with each other in private. Nobody ever suspected a thing.

And then, just as Sectionals were approaching, Quinn's secret came out. Rachel Berry had gone and stuck her nose where it didn't belong, and created a deep rift in the club. Also, Brittany had accidentally stuck her foot in her mouth.

"Having sex isn't dating." Santana had said on a group call with several of the members of the club.

"If it were, Santana and I would be dating." Brittany then added. The Latina froze, giving her best friend a very disturbed look. Brittany winced slightly, apologizing with her eyes. Luckily, the other members were only silent for a second before the conversation resumed. Santana had been very relieved. But the thought had still been put out there, making her more paranoid than normal.

Sectionals came and went, and the dynamic of the Glee Club started to change drastically. Especially when it came to the romantic and sexual links within the club. All of the relationships got really complicated, really fast. Exhibit A: Finn's relationship status.

To be honest, Santana and Brittany were definitely responsible for a large part of the complexity of the athlete's love life. Sure, Sue had practically ordered the two of them to mess with him, but they'd been the ones to agree and come up with a plan.

So now, all of the time spent in the tall boy's vicinity was consumed by Santana and Brittany making flirty little gestures towards him. They would look at him seductively, give him little waves, randomly touch him, send him small, suggestive smiles (Brittany smiled, Santana only barely managed to turn her scowl into a smirk), etc. Even now, as Finn sang his "Hello" song to revive his confidence or whatever the purpose of it was, the two best friends made as much intense eye contact with the basketball player as possible.

 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Won't you tell me your name_  
 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Let me jump in your game_  
 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Won't you tell me your name_  
 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Let me jump in your game_

They must have gotten his attention somehow, because Finn kept on looking their way while singing his song. Brittany gave him a smile that flashed a hint of her teeth, narrowing her eyes slightly in a sultry gaze. Santana really liked that expression. It was teasing, attractive, and extremely distracting. She forced her eyes away from her best friend, and bit her lip, briefly meeting Finn's gaze. That would work.

 _She's walkin' down the street_  
 _Blind to every eye she meets_  
 _Do you think you'll be the guy_  
 _To make the queen of the angels sigh_

 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Won't you tell me your name_  
 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Let me jump in your game_  
 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Won't you tell me your name_  
 _Hello, I love you_  
 _Let me jump in your game  
_

She and Brittany made a point of making it obvious that they were "interested" in him. However, Quinn kept shooting them concerned and slightly disturbed glances. Puck had his eyebrows raised. Santana glared at him slightly, daring the mohawked boy to say something. He kept his mouth shut.

 _She holds her head so high_  
 _Like a statue in the sky_  
 _Her arms are wicked and her legs are long_  
 _When she moves my brain screams out this song_

 _Sidewalk crouches at her feet_  
 _Like a dog that begs for somethin' sweet_  
 _Do you hope to make her see, you fool_  
 _Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel_

 _Hello! Hello!_  
 _Hello! Hello!_  
 _Hello! Hello! Hello!_

Santana raised her hand and waved it slightly, a smile playing at her lips. Brittany was smiling more widely now, although Santana could tell that her best friend was starting to get tired of keeping up the act.

 _I want you_  
 _I need my baby_  
 _Hello! Hello!_  
 _I need, yeah yeah_

She had to admit, Finn was really putting his all into making himself sound sexy. He was singing in a low, gravelly tone, with a lot of energy behind it. It wasn't working for her at all, but she could see Kurt hyperventilating, Rachel looking disgustingly proud, and Tina laughing as Finn stalked towards her with a super intense look on his face. All of the other girls seemed to be enjoying it. Everybody except for her. (Then again, no boy had ever inspired that type of reaction from her; they always looked and/or sounded awkward as hell when they tried to be sexy. Brittany, on the other hand... that girl was capable of communicating emotions and stories through her movements. She could make anything look hot.)

 _Hello! Hello!_  
 _Hello! Hello!_

Finn finished up his song, grinning at the applause he received. Then Berry stood up.

"And that, fellow glee clubbers, is how we say hello." she announced in a rather lofty tone. Santana rolled her eyes and exhaled heavily. The bell rang, and she glanced to her right, making eye contact with Brittany. They had a very short silent conversation.

" _Now?_ " her best friend's blue eyes asked.

" _Yeah, let's do this._ " her own gaze replied, lighting up deviously. They nodded to each other, and Santana reached out and linked their pinkies as she turned her gaze to Finn, watching him like a lioness watches her prey. She and Brittany stood up, striding over to the tall teen with synchronized steps. Santana could feel Quinn's gaze burning into her back.

"You're a really good dancer." Brittany complimented randomly, and Santana fought to keep from laughing. That was a blatant lie.

Finn spun around, looking confused. His eyes darted from Santana to Brittany, and he kept eye contact with her best friend as he replied.

"Thanks, but my feet weren't really moving." he said dumbly, glancing back and forth between them.

"That was the best part." Brittany deadpanned, and Santana's lips quirked in amusement. Brittany was amazing at insulting people while making it seem like she meant it as a compliment. Nobody ever doubted her sincerity, so she was free to say what she wanted. Santana found it hilarious because she understood that her best friend was actually joking. She knew exactly how Brittany thought. She was the only person at McKinley that did.

"Oh..." he replied. Santana decided to enter the conversation as well.

"Britt and I were wondering if you wanted to go out."

"O-on a... date?" he stuttered. They nodded simultaneously.

"With which one of you?" Santana and Brittany turned towards each other, sharing a conspirational smile. Santana unlinked their pinkies, and wrapped her arm around Brittany's elbow.

"With both of us." they chorused. Finn's eyes widened. His expression from stunned, to contemplative, to a weird little smile that reminded Santana of an ape for some reason. She shuddered, but kept the smile on her face. She and Brittany turned, walking away from Finn.

A little while later, they approached him in the hallway, pinkies linked again.

"Breadstix, 8:00. Table for three?" Santana told him in a slightly sarcastic tone. Luckily (or unluckily), the athlete didn't notice.

"Cool." he breathed out, getting that ape-like expression again. Santana chuckled darkly to herself as she and Brittany walked away. It was too easy. It shouldn't have been that easy. The boy hadn't even broken up with his girlfriend yet.

" _So much for the leader of glee club having a strong moral code._ " she thought, rolling her eyes.

* * *

The date was every bit as disasterous as Santana expected it to be; Finn was so terrible at making conversation with them that Santana ended up deciding to ignore the athlete completely. After making him so frustrated that he left to go sulk in the car, the experience was much more enjoyable. They quickly finished up their food, paid with Finn's card, and went out to the parking lot.

"That was fun." Brittany said innocently. Finn glared at them from the window of his car, holding his hand out for his card. Santana dropped it into his open palm, a taunting smirk on her features.

"No, it really wasn't. But I paid for your dinner, so now you two have to make out." he growled angrily. Santana raised her eyebrows at the basketball player.

"Oh, we have to? Who the hell do you think you are?" she shot back, eyes narrowed.

"Well, that's how you two 'work', right?" A snarl erupted from Santana's throat, and Finn suddenly looked like he regretted his words. The Latina was gearing up to reach through the window and punch the idiotic teen in his demanding teeth when Brittany grabbed her by the wrist, spinning her around. Suddenly, Santana was being pinned to the side of Finn's car with Brittany's mouth pressed firmly against her own. Finn's jaw dropped, his eyes wide in shock. The athlete tried to say something, but Santana wasn't paying him any more attention; she'd already closed her eyes and was now reciprocating the fiery kiss. It seemed that Brittany was feeling more assertive; her best friend continued pushing her up against the side of the car, not letting her escape. Santana tried to turn the tables, but Brittany wasn't having it. Instead, she unexpectedly bit down on the Latina's lower lip. Santana gasped in surprise, losing focus and giving the blonde an opportunity to regain complete control. Seeing no other choice, Santana relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of the blonde's lips. A high pitched squeak suddenly reminded the duo that they had an audience, and Brittany slowly pulled away from the brunette, catching Santana's lip between her teeth briefly before releasing it. They both turned their heads towards Finn, who looked about as dazed as Santana felt.

Uncharacteristically, Santana couldn't think of anything mean to say. She was still consumed by the heady feeling of euphoria. Instead, Brittany spoke up.

"No, Finn. That's not how we work. That's how we play. Do you want to know how we work?" she baited, and Finn nodded enthusiastically. The blonde smirked slowly and leaned towards the athlete, a predatory grin on her face. Santana watched from where she still leaned heavily against the car, extremely interested to see how Brittany would respond. She knew it wasn't going to be what Finn was expecting.

"Well, after Cheerios practice, we go back to my house. My parents are usually at work, so it's just me and her." Brittany began. Finn stared back at her, hanging onto her every word.

"We go into my bedroom, and put our stuff down. Then, we shower, and change out of our Cheerios uniforms into something that's a little bit more...comfortable." the blonde purred, and Santana laughed internally at Finn's expression. Boys their age were so perverted.

"And then, we turn on some nice music, and climb onto my bed." Brittany continued in a suggestive voice. Finn's breathing sped up, and Santana rolled her eyes. Unfortunately for him, what Brittany was describing wasn't very wanky in reality. She was just good at making things sound that way.

"Once we're there, we begin to work. Santana's better at working, so she always takes charge." The brunette could probably slash all of the athlete's tires right now, and he wouldn't notice a thing.

"We always start with the easy stuff, and she goes nice and slow. And once I'm more comfortable, she takes it up a notch." Brittany whispered. Finn's eyes went wide, and he glanced at Santana, as if looking for confirmation. She decided to finally join in on the game.

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't want you to feel bored, would I Britt?" Santana commented, smirking.

"No, you would not." Brittany replied, grinning. She turned back to Finn.

"So after San helps me out in a few areas, we switch focuses for a while. We spend some time eating. Then, I dance, and Santana demonstrates just how good she is with those hands..." Finn made a small whimpering noise, chanting something about a mailman under his breath. Santana frowned at him, slightly freaked out.

"We finish work off with something we rather excel at. Languages." she said, and Finn's expression turned confused.

"Santana's awesome at swearing, but she's also awesome at Spanish. She sounds super sexy." Brittany said casually, and Santana laughed.

"So do you. You're good with that tongue." She was referring, of course, to Brittany's Spanish.

"Only at home... But you've got a wicked tongue all the time." the blonde pointed out. Finn was back to being completely enthralled by their words. He wore a self-satisfied expression which Santana couldn't wait to wipe away. The athlete was probably giving himself a mental high-five for taking them out to dinner. He'd regret it soon enough.

"I know I do, Britt. That's why we don't let many people come too close." she responded, winking. Brittany giggled a little bit.

"True. Anyways, once we're all done with that, we've finished work. We pack our stuff up so we're ready for school the next day." the taller girl stated.

"Then, we hang out until we fall asleep. I stay over at Britt's house a lot." Finn nodded, as if he understood.

"That's super hot." he mumbled dreamily. Santana and Brittany tried not to laugh at him. Then, he frowned.

"Wait, but if you do all of that and then go to sleep... when do you do your homework?" he asked dumbly. Santana and Brittany turned towards each other, exchanging slightly exaggerated confused glances.

"Hudson... Brittany just spent the last five minutes detailing her homework schedule. Were you not listening?" Finn looked like he'd been slapped in the face.

"You- what? No, you were telling me how you two 'work'..." Brittany cast him a strange look.

"Yeah, Finn. That's how we work. We go to my room after Cheerios practice, take turns showering, and then change into pajamas. After that, we sit on my bed, and listen to music while Santana explains what we learned in school that day. She quizzes me with different questions so that she knows I'm understanding the material. Once we've done everything but Spanish, we take a short break. We eat dinner, and I practice dancing while Santana plays the piano. Sometimes she decides to use a guitar. Finally, we practice Spanish, which is the last subject we have homework in. And once all of our homework's been completed, we hang out, because we're besties. I already told you all of this." Brittany explained slowly. The blonde reached out and felt Finn's forehead with the back of her hand.

"Are you okay?" she asked 'innocently'. Finn sputtered.

"Wh- no- yeah, I'm fine. I just- I thought you were- I think I got the wrong idea about what you just said." Santana furrowed her eyebrows in 'confusion'.

"God, Hudson. You're acting like you got turned on by the thought of Britt and I doing homework. Seriously, how'd you manage to get the wrong idea? What did you think she was saying?" Finn turned bright red, and Santana gasped dramatically.

"Oh, you piece of- I'm about to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on you!" she snarled, acting affronted. Finn squeaked in fear, beginning to apologize profusely.

"Just take us home." Santana commanded. Nodding, the athlete fumbled with his keys, starting the engine of the car. The two best friends hopped into the back. The ride home was spent in silence.

"That did not go well." Brittany commented later. Santana nodded in agreement. But one week later, she was asking Finn out with the attention of taking his virginity. He accepted without hesitation.

* * *

"Santana, where are you going? We have to go to glee club." Brittany asked as Santana grabbed her backpack, heading for the parking lot.

"I've got a date with Finn later. I have to go prepare." she said, half-lying.

"Okay... but I don't see why you're planning on skipping Glee." the blonde said.

"Can you just cover for me? Tell Mr. Schue that I wasn't feeling well. But make sure to tell Finn that I'm just figuring out where we'll be going. I'll be at his house at 7:00, and I'll drive us to the location." she asked. Brittany nodded.

"Will do." The blonde turned and walked away. Santana watched her go, and then hurried over to her car. She drove home, sighing in relief when she realized that her "parents" weren't home. She practically ran into her house, rushing down the stairs into the basement. Near the back was a rack of metal cases; she popped one open and retrieved a single vial of clear liquid. Nodding to herself in satisfaction, she closed the case, and went back upstairs. She pulled two flasks out of a nearby cabinet. One was red, and the other was blue. She poured Coke into both flasks, and emptied the vial into the blue one. Then, she closed both flasks and put them into the refrigerator. She ran upstairs to get ready for her outing with Finn.

An hour later, she was satisfied with her look. She still had a lot of time left, even after completing her homework, so she decided to practice one of her instruments. She glanced over her collection, deciding to run through a few songs on her violin. At 6:30, she grabbed her purse and the two flasks, and headed out to her car.

Finn stood awkwardly outside of his house. She pulled up to the curb and rolled down the window.

"You good?" she asked. He blew out a breath, and looked her in the eye.

His eyes said no.

He said yes.

They arrived at the motel a little while later. Finn went into the bathroom, obviously trying to steel his nerves. She glanced around the room as she waited. The blue flask caught her eye, and she exhaled. What she was about to do was not exactly ethical, but it would be good for Finn in the end.

"Are you ready?" she called.

"In a minute." he replied. Santana looked at the flask again.

" _Sorry, Finn. You're not actually losing your virginity tonight. I'm a bitch, but that's way too far. There's no way in hell that I'm going to sleep with you just because Sue wants the Cheerios to date younger men. But as far as everyone but myself is concerned, that's what happened tonight._ " she thought. After a couple minutes, the athlete still hadn't made an appearance.

"Now, if you could just come out the bathroom, and have a drink of spiked soda with me, then we could get a move on." she muttered. She crossed her arms, and leaned against the headboard. It was going to be a long night.

 **So, the first song is Gasoline by Halsey. Hello, I Love You by The Doors is the song that Finn sings. I hope you liked the chapter!**


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